God is good ALL the time

     It is the week of Christmas the time of year we celebrate our Lord Saviors birth. A time to gather and spend time with those we love. However I saw less of Jesus this year and more ciaos. People shooting each other over toys or electronics, pepper spraying so they can get just the right gift for someone. It saddens me to watch year after years the depravity of our communities becoming worse. I think about the countless that spent Christmas in their grand homes with their families surrounding them and a pile of presents in front of them and yes I feel sorry for them. They missed it they missed out on the biggest gift of all. The gift that God our Father gave to us. The baby that was born in a field surrounded by animals. We have all heard the story but think about the details here. The animals smell and you are in their field well there is feces around and little food for Mary and Joseph they wrap their baby in rags. Now with our clean hospitals and designer baby clothes we don't think about what Mary actually went through that night or the real conditions of their story. We paint a nice little picture on it. Here is a family traveling a great distance she is nine months pregnant on a donkey umm a little more that just uncomfortable. Door after door is closed on them person after person rejects them. I have a hard time thinking that someone who close a door on a pregnant woman in the first place but she just wasn't any woman within her ready to be born into this world was our Savior. Them man who would live a life a pure life among us and would be beaten and die a horrible death for us for the same people who said no to His mother for the people who are still saying no to His Father. We as a nation and as a world are those people who are shutting our doors in the face of God. He is saying take care of the needy and poor the widows and children and we are shutting our hearts to His call.



      I am a thorn on the crown upon Jesus head, I am the rust on the nail through His hand and yet He loves me. He wraps those nail scarred hands around me and holds me to His chest. He looks down on my life with love and grace. I pray that as we go into this next year we take a very close look at who this Man is and what He did with His time here on earth. For each day had a purpose and a reason and I no longer am content to idly sit back and only think of Him as a story. For He is my Savior my God my Lord who I have chosen to serve. And in order to serve Him I much learn all of who He is.

The Journey begins

They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and only 3 to break it well here goes day 1 on my 30 day journey to a better me however I realize that my journey will not stop at 30 days. I am 28 years old and I have a life time of choices to make. I am always telling my children that ever action has a reaction ( thank you Sir Issac Newton). I feel as if the scales of who I have been are falling away from me and the new and improved version is under construction. I have many different construction sites that i am working on within my life. My walk with God , my marriage, my parenting style, my health (weight) , my friendships. It seems when I took a good hard look at myself with new perspective God's perspective  I didn't like what I saw. There isn't one area of me that I am comfortable with. I need a complete redo. It isn't something that will happen overnight and I really don't want it to. For it is often said its not where you are going that matters its the journey  . . .

  Check in

            Walk with God - getting stronger learning to lean on Him for there isn't anything my Lord can't help me with. There is no project to hard or journey to long and I can do all things through Him that gives me strength.

            My marriage - Well things are still uncertain. I am certain now more than I have ever been on my undying unending unconditional love for my husband. He is an amazing man. He is strong and unfortunately I have forced him to be emotional hardened. I pray that his heart will soften against me and allow us to rebuild a better and stronger marriage from the rubble I have left surrounding us.

          My Children - Patience Love is Patient Love is kind. So that mean I need to be patient and kind. To look at my children every day through the eyes of the Creator who blessed me with them. To take heart that they are ours and it is solely our job to raise them. To do so with kindness and love in all that we do with them. To take time to snuggle and hear the same joke for the hundredth time and still laugh because they cared enough to tell it to me again. To always take the time and to care for them the way my Lord and Savior cares for me.

         My Health - Not the greatest and definitely no my favorite subject but one that is holding me back from fully being able work on the other areas in my life. I have more than 100 lbs to lose and I will not wait one more day or allow one more excuse to get in my way.                                                

Height - 5'4

          Weight - 265 lbs. 

    BMI  - 45.48

         Just isn't acceptable any longer. I will not see that number again when I look down on the scale. I refuse to allow my weight to control me any longer.